Between Shadow and Light
by xSummonerYunax
Summary: 900 AF, one hundred years before Lightning Returns. Noel wanders somewhere between shadow and light in Luxerion. Even though four hundred years have gone by, he still cannot let go of a special friend. But recent strange events bring him a bit closer to her. Noel/Serah


A/N: Hi all! It's been awhile since my last FFXIII-2 story, and I'm suddenly in the mood to write a Noel/Serah fic again due to recent inspiration from the new Lightning Return trailers, footages, and information. This story is purely **speculation** based on the current information given. I took tons of liberty in writing the characters and the plot for this story, so you have been warned! There is still some time until the release of Lightning Returns so I'm basically working with what's over the Internet right now. This story takes place in 900 AF, 400 years after FFXIII-2 and 100 years before Lightning Returns. Enjoy!

**Between Shadow and Light**

Thunder roared as the sky opened, revealing a stretch of infinite darkness as black rain fell hard and fast, released like the sound of gunfire. The rain drowned out the cries in the distance, downplaying their urgency. I had heard them all: cries of desperation, pain, torment, despair. The cries that echoed in the shadows of the alleyway corner ahead were of death.

The residents of Luxerion had heard them, too. One by one, the windows of homes lit up the streets, providing beacons for the lost. This was the most they could do for them, and it was more than I ever could.

I stared at the sky a little longer. Depthless and eerily sinister, and loomed much closer to the towering buildings of the metropolis than it had been the last time it rained. One day, perhaps in the very near future, the void would swallow the Divine City of Light. It reminded me very much of the day Chaos spilled forth into this world; its tendrils of dark energy had decayed everything they touched.

Though that had been four hundred years ago, how could I forget that day? How could I forget that holding her slender, lithe body in my arms felt like supporting beams of steel bars? How could I forget that my hand alone was what had damned the world and the girl I was supposed to save? I had thought that after four centuries, my guilt would subside.

I had been so wrong. It only festered like a terrible illness, debilitating but never killing. No matter how much I wanted to die, I owed it to those I had damned to see if the prophecy from the Oracle Drive I had witnessed in 600 AF would come true. In 1000 AF, a hundred years from now, Lightning was prophesized to come back and destroy what was left of this world. I saw myself in the vision, too—I was the one destined to stop her and save humanity, offer it a new beginning. I didn't like the idea of taking out a former ally, but if this was my only chance of repentance for what I'd done, I had to take it. Besides, after dwelling on this matter for three centuries, I had grown indifferent to taking out Lightning. It wasn't her that I had cared for, it was her younger sister.

The pale lights from the houses called for me with their soft pulses. Hurried footsteps ran past me, faces unseen and bodies disappearing in blurs. Sometimes it was hard to tell if they were real or phantoms. After all, I was still haunted by ghosts, willingly. One careless fool bumped into my shoulder, but I did not sway with his artless dash. These…_entities _ran for their homes while ducking under arms that poorly shielded them from the storm. Moments later, they were all gone, and I turned from their course. As usual, I walked a different path—solitary trails that promised a bleak final destination.

It had always been that way.

I made for the alleyway, bending inwards beneath the awnings of abandoned shops and melting into the shadows. I stopped momentarily when my feet kicked into soft flesh at the turn of a corner. An arm, with a leather bracelet around its wrist. I remained at the dead body only long enough to determine what had been the cause of the teenage boy's death. My eyes followed the stream of blood that flowed from his abdomen to the puddle of rain beside him. Gunshots.

I examined the body a bit longer than I normally would have, only because the young boy reminded me of a part of myself I had lost lifetimes ago. Though his face was shrouded under long layers of brown hair, I could still make out his perpetually frozen determination and a peaceful smile of contentment. He had gone down fighting.

I thought nothing else of it and kept moving. The storm was getting stronger, the rain now pouring like waterfalls, heavy enough to almost choke. Not three minutes later, I was met with another distraction. Another scream of terror, and I could tell by this voice that he was still alive…only if I made it in time. I ran, followed the echoes of the cry, and turned many corners at the maze I was being driven into.

Someone yelled frantically, "Please, please no!"

I slowed my steps as frigid water splashed into my sandals, numbing my toes and feet. I pressed my back against the wall and peeked over my shoulder. There was a child on the wet pavement across the street, cowering and hugging the dirty wall behind him. Two bulky figures loomed over him. Their dark hoods made them seem impossibly tall to the shivering boy. One of the figures reached for a gun in his pocket, and it didn't take me long to figure out who had caused the mess back there.

"You know what I want. So give me the money and I'll let you live a few days longer," the man with the gun shouted, pointing the weapon wildly in the air.

"I-I told you! I don't have any more gils! My brother and I already gave you everything," the boy sobbed out loud, drawing his knees to his trembling face.

A hot blast of anger thawed my frozen limbs. Instinct kicked in and I was already moving to my targets before my mind could comprehend my actions. The two men never heard or sensed me until I leapt and landed behind the man with the gun, my fist connecting with his skull. I held him under me as the rain suffocated the sound of bones crackling and breaking. The other one drew a knife, but my legs swept under his, my knees pinning to his chest as I grabbed the blade from his hand. My knuckles turned white as I clenched the knife and held it high above the man's pleading face.

From the way his face contorted, he was probably begging me to spare his life but I heard none of his words. All I thought about was how much I wanted to plunge the knife into this stranger. If these two scums could treat other lives so frivolously, then why should theirs hold any more significance? I had once thought all life mattered, coming from a dying world with none. But now I had seen it…seen just how life was valued, and I didn't want to see any more. I drove the blade into the man's chest. This wasn't the first time I had killed, but it was one of the few times that I felt something: regret, uncertainty, shame.

The man with the gun scrambled away pitifully without his weapon, lest that he would be next. I kneeled a bit longer, almost forgetting that there was life in the form of a lost child next to me. He ran to the gun that was left behind and examined it curiously like any child would. I was mildly impressed with how carefully the child was handling the firearm that had almost claimed his life. I sensed no fear resonating from him though he had just been threatened and seen me kill a man before his eyes mere seconds ago. So, this was our society now, huh?

The rain had already washed off the dead man's blood from my hands. I left the knife in the man's chest. The moment I let go of the blade and stood up, I felt nothing again. I walked over to the boy and plucked the gun out of his chubby fingers for his own safety. He looked at me with wide green eyes that were as vibrant as a forest. The boy was probably no more than nine or ten, but the mischievous gleam in his eyes made him appear a little older, wiser. I quickly scanned his body for any major injuries and found none. Great.

"You're fine now. Go home, kid," I told him and began walking towards my own home, not once considering if the boy even had a home to go to anymore.

I didn't turn back again as I headed for the Warren, buried in the bowels of Luxerion where the shadows covered all the corruptions and dangers and death…where I belonged.

* * *

The first thing I did when I got back to my shack was take a shower. The hot water and steam felt nice against my skin, washing away the grime of today's work. I had killed a man and saved someone…pretty much my everyday job, though the slaughtering didn't happen as often as the savings. My eyes closed as my head moved closer to the shower head. While the water sprayed my face, I could only think about that little boy and how immune he was to the deaths and the threats around him. He was so young and fearless. Was it normal for a child to be so resistant to the dangers around him? And what of his brother? Surely, the boy would find out that his sibling had died?

My forehead fell to the broken ceramic tiles of the shower. I turned off the shower and sighed heavily, my eyes drooping to the open palm that had stabbed Caius. This was the shit world that I had brought to fruition. I had tried so hard to right the wrongs. I had become a vigilante to save others and prevent the world from decaying further, but tonight was evident that things were not in my control, and perhaps they never were. The end would come, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Impede it, yes, but fully preventing its destruction? Never.

Until the world's final days, I would fulfill my vow to look out for those who needed protection. But why was it becoming so much harder? I…I just don't care anymore.

My eyes snapped open when I heard something outside the bathroom fall with a resonating thud. I immediately grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist, hand reaching for the knob of the door cautiously. I pressed my ear against the door first, listening for any other noises. There were footsteps…light footsteps and lifting. It sounded like someone was trying to put back what was dropped. I frowned at the thought of an intruder in my home. The old shop owner from downstairs wouldn't come up here to the second floor unless he was asking for rent money, but I had already paid rent a few days ago.

"Hey, who's there?" I demanded loudly, injecting aggression into my tone. I pushed forth the door halfway, using it partially as a shield in case of an assault.

Standing in my living area was the same boy from before, his eyes ever wide but apologetic this time.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I yelled, rushing out of the restroom with enough haste to chase him into the corner by my bookshelf. That was when I saw that some of the books had fallen over. One of the frail ledges of the shelf had finally broken from the weight.

"Sorry, don't get mad!" the boy pleaded. "I just…I just wanted to thank you!"

I rolled my eyes and growled, frustration wearing me to the bones. "Why the hell did you follow me here? Do you know how dangerous it is? You could have been kil-" I stopped myself. "Forget it. How did you get in here anyway?"

"Your door was unlocked."

I looked at him, puzzled. "Excuse me?"

"You forgot to lock it probably," he replied smartly with a sly grin. "Oh, but don't worry. I've already locked it for you."

I groaned into my palm. Had I really been that absentminded? "Whatever, thanks. So what do you want? Other than to thank me?"

He shrugged, his smile never leaving his face. I had to admit that the kid was adorable.

"That was so cool—I mean, what you did before! You came from nowhere and moved in the dark, like a shadow! I wanted to move just like you, so I followed you here…stealth-ee."

I chuckled lightly at his pronunciation of the word.

"I did a pretty good job, huh? I mean, you didn't even notice me!" The child sounded so proud as he puffed his chest. Foolish but brazen, I had to give him that.

"You are SO cool. I wanna be just like you!"

My face must have turned stone cold, because the boy flinched as if he had just been burned. "Don't say that," I admonished, and then whispered, "You don't want to be like me, trust me on that..."

"A-all right…" He nodded, seemed to have gotten the clue. His smile soon returned as he boldly walked over to my ragged couch and sat down, soaking the cushions with his wet clothes. His head moved around the room, surveying everything in sight—everything from the small, worn coffee table in the middle of the room to the broken bookshelf in the corner, from the clean carpets I had just bought to the battered table and chairs in the corner. And no one could miss the large hole in the wall that barely concealed the tiny kitchen.

He was surveying but never judging. Still, I was annoyed. "Okay, you've said what you wanted to say. Don't you have anywhere else to be? Don't you have anyone else's home to be in besides mine?"

"Nope!" He flashed a toothy grin. "I'll look for my brother tomorrow. It's not the first time we've been separated. We'll be okay!"

My heart sank at the knowledge I was withholding from him. It suddenly dawned on me to check his wrists just to be sure. A burning sensation filled my chest when I saw that the boy was wearing the same leather bracelet as the dead man I had found earlier. "If you say so," was all I could mutter. I was glad his attention fell elsewhere as I did not want to linger on this morbid topic.

"Wow, awesome! You have swords behind your bookshelf!"

"Please don't touch my Hunter swords," I snapped, my eyes taking on a sharper edge.

He already moved towards the bookshelf before I could stop him, but thankfully was respectful enough to not touch the blades without my permission. "Hunter swords? So you're a hunter of some sort?"

I could tell from the way his fingers shook that he desperately wanted to touch them, but I really didn't want to deal with another accident tonight. I had already showered. So I moved the shelf further back, covering the ageless weapons. "Maybe. Look, are you done, kid?"

The child moved back to the couch, leaving behind droplets of water in his trail. "Why do you keep calling me 'kid'? I do have a name you know."

"And I really don't care what it is," I told him.

"Why not?"

I chewed my lower lip. I had long stopped linking names to people. It was more impersonal that way, better for me. I had become uncomfortable getting close to people. There were many I could have loved, but I chose to turn them away for fear of the same pain that had shattered me four hundred years ago. I still have not healed and feared that this was one would that time could never mend.

"I just don't," I supplied in place of the complicated and morose truth.

"Fine, I'll play along. Since I doubt you're gonna tell me your name, I'll just call you…Shadow…Hunter! Shadow Hunter!" The kid nodded, seeming pleased with the moniker.

I had to admit that 'Shadow Hunter' did have an interesting…ring to it. "Hah, real creative," I commented sarcastically.

I moved to the bookshelf and began picking up the books that were dropped and made a mental note to myself that I needed to fix the ledge in the morning. My windows rattled against the wind, the rain still going just as strong as before. "You should probably go take a hot shower. You can wear one of my shirts until your clothes dry," I offered, since it didn't look like the kid was going anywhere tonight.

"Wow, thanks, Shadow Hunter! Here, I'll help you with the books first." The kid stood up and walked over to the books carefully, making sure to keep the water away from them.

"Just put them on the table. I'll arrange them on the shelf tomorrow," I instructed.

He did what he was told. We worked silently only for a few seconds before he asked a question that sent ice water shooting through my veins, dispelling all traces of heat from my shower.

"Hey, who's this pretty girl next to you? A girlfriend or something? Oh, and there's a moogle, too!"

He showed me a picture that had fallen out of a book, a picture that was tattered around the edges, a picture that was four hundred years old but felt like it was only taken yesterday every time I looked at it. The kid deposited it into my lifeless hand. It was me, her, and Mog—all three of us were smiling, but hers was the most radiant of us all, of everyone I had come to known. She was so happy after we won the Chocobo race at Serendipity that one of the wacko workers there couldn't help but take advantage of the situation by taking our picture and then overcharging us for the photo. She had purchased it without my knowing and gave me a copy. I was a bit angry at the time that we had to dip into our weapons savings for the picture, but now I wouldn't trade this picture for anything in the world, except to have her back again.

Her name would come effortlessly to my mind but my lips had forgotten how to utter it, unless it was in my dreams. What right did I have to say her name? It would only do her dishonor.

"You look so happy here," the kid commented, moving closer to me to look at the picture again.

Yeah, I agreed. Being near her made me happy, unnaturally happy, forbiddingly happy.

"Where is this place? It looks like some amusement park. When did you guys go? Last week? Look! You're even wearing the same clothes from earlier!"

I tucked the picture into a random book and slammed it shut. "That's enough," I remarked sternly, returning back to work.

"Ohhhh…you're just embarrassed about her because she's your girlfriend," he continued to tease to my chagrin. "You're probably too shy to hang out with her at your place, which is why she is always hanging around outside. She looks just as pretty in real life! I like her long, pink swirly hair. They look like they could go boingy-boingy."

I froze and my muscles tensed. I turned my head slowly to the boy, and I had to struggle to find the right words to say. "What the hell are you babbling about?" I asked, my heart already racing.

"I saw her a few times. She and I talked! She told me she likes talking to children because she used to be a teacher, and she misses it…"

My stomach felt like it was swelling with bile. I swallowed hard, swallowed the confusion and rage, but I was no longer good at bottling emotions as I had once before. "What did you say?!" I roared, sending the kid falling on his back from alarm.

"I…we…talked," he confirmed again, his eyes widening with fear and watering.

I stood up and picked up the rest of the books, my face and jaw locked tightly, lips tightened in a line. I threw the books on the table with so much force that the entire frame shook. The vase at the corner tipped over, ejecting water and the incredibly rare and dying Lotus berthelotii that I had been trying to revive. I turned my back to the startled boy, I couldn't look at him. My hand raked through my hair, fingers grabbing a fistful of strands. "Are you…are you making up some sick joke?!" I screamed, my voice trembling with my body. I was angry and volatile and knew my body projected the aggression, so much that I could hear the kid scrambling to the farthest corner of my rundown shack.

"No…no, I'm not." The kid was crying now, and his soft, pitiful tears melted some of my fury.

I too walked to the other corner of the room and threw my forehead against the wall. I breathed deeply and slowly, allowing myself to calm down, allowing myself to remember that she was gone. Water dripped from my hair and ran down my face. I tasted a salty droplet on my lips. Until today, I had not thought about her for some time unless she came into my dreams. Was I in one now? Oh gods, just leave me alone.

I sniffed and rubbed the water from my face. I straightened myself and slowly collected my senses. Maybe I had overreacted. Maybe the kid saw a girl who looked like her, who happened to be a teacher. It was just pure coincidence, nothing more. My chest still felt heavy though, because I knew the real reason I had gotten so angry was because I desperately wanted to believe in the impossible again, just like I once had. I laughed inwardly at my own stupidity and naivety.

"Sorry about that, kid," I whispered and walked into my bedroom without turning back.

I knew he heard me loud and clear because he stopped sobbing.

And the rain finally ceased.

* * *

I woke up early in the morning to cook some breakfast since I wasn't able to sleep anyway. I left my room to find that the kid had passed out on my couch. I didn't hear him using the shower last night so I could only assume he slept in his wet clothes that had dried over the hours. A part of me felt terrible for what I had accused him of last night when I lost my temper and the other part of me…I…I really don't know. I wasn't angry anymore, just…confused and hurt.

I hoped the kid liked eggs and toast because that was all I had left in the house. Gotta go grocery shopping, I reminded myself. I slid the eggs on to a plate and placed a slice of toast beside it just as the kid was waking up from his slumber. He looked at me with tired eyes that slowly widened at the sight of the food. He didn't move from the couch, his face betraying hesitance and reluctance.

"Come on and help me finish some of the food," I told him, forcing a small smile to welcome his presence. "This plate's for you."

He walked over to the table but didn't say anything as he accepted the dish with a courteous bow. I served my own plate and sat across from him. We were both quiet, picking at the contents with our forks.

"Sorry about last night," the kid mumbled at last. "I didn't mean to make you mad."

"Forget about it. I should be the one apologizing. Didn't mean to scare you like that…I just…it's just…something personal. That girl, she is..._was," _I corrected, "someone very important to me." I really wanted to ask him more about the girl he had seen, but if I were to seriously forget about last night's incident and _her, _I had to drop it. I couldn't dwell on it anymore.

"I won't mention her anymore then. Thanks, Shadow Hunter."

The boy ate a bit of his food before devouring his entire plate. I gave him half of the contents on mine, as I wasn't that hungry anyway. "I'm gonna go buy some groceries. Do you want to come with me?"

"Sure, I'll also look for my brother in town, too," he said in a carefree tone. Carefree and optimistic, it made my stomach churn.

"Okay…I'll help you look too I guess. Even though the Warren is much safer during the day, it can still get pretty dangerous."

The boy finished the final bits of his food and dashed for the banister. "Ready when you are, Shadow Hunter!"

I finished my own plate and cleared the table. "Hey, kid?"

"Yeah?"

"I uh…I just wanna let you know that if you don't happen to find your brother, you're welcome to stay here for some time…"

All the light in his eyes died in a blink. He bowed his head, brown bangs cascading over a visage of sadness that he turned towards the shadows. At that moment, I knew the kid understood the possible implications of my words. He probably lingered around the Warren enough to know how most people ended up. "Thank you, Shadow Hunter…I really appreciate that."

We talked for a bit as I got ready, and just as I had expected, he made no mentioning of parents or home. Just his brother.

* * *

When we got into town, we separated for a bit. I gave him some gils and told him to buy some vegetables and meat, and I took that time to go back to the alley where I had seen the dead body from last night. Letting my memory guide me, I reached the spot where I had seen the kid's brother last night. No body found, just the same leather bracelet on his wrist kicked into a dirty corner with trash bags. I swallowed a gulp as I gently retrieved the bracelet, steadying my fingers to avoid the trash bags. Something told me that I did not want to see or know what was in them. I pocketed the jewelry and made my way back to the market stands, passing through the long winded mazes once more.

I passed by the corner where I had saved the boy last night, and all I thought about was how to break the news of his brother's death to him. I was thinking of how to word it and what phrases to use when a voice cut through my thoughts, a familiar, feminine voice that whispered my name. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked behind and above me. The voice was airy, and my name seemed to have evaporated into the wind, blown out of earshot.

Someone had called me…someone with her sweet voice. I clenched my fist, wondering if it was the kid playing a prank on me, but then I remembered I had never told him my real name. I rarely told anyone my name. There was no way he could have known.

Perhaps I was seriously going insane.

I bolted out of the alley, all the while hearing giggles in that same voice that pursued me into the sunny market area. And then the townspeople's energetic chatters chased away the haunting. I scanned the area for the kid, while feeling faint and dizzy from the sprint and the explosive anxiety that rattled my bones.

"Over here, Shadow Hunter!" the kid called from a few feet ahead. He was holding multiple bags of groceries and beckoning me with his waving.

I returned the wave and walked towards him with a steady pace while remembering how to breathe.

* * *

We made beef stew together for dinner. I could not remember the last time I had cooked with someone and had to admit that the company was rather inviting. The kid was a pretty good cook. He knew how to cut his food with precision and even picked out a good blend of spices to add more flavor to the stew. He appeared nervous while cooking with me though, and I could tell there was something on his mind…something he was keeping from me. I wondered if I appeared just as nervous, since I too had a secret I was keeping from him.

We sat down at the table and tasted our cooking and both smiled in delight. It was the best I've had in some time since I normally didn't go out of my way to cook for only myself, and the gods knew there were never any guests around here.

"This is so good. I know my brother would really love this. Too bad we couldn't find him today…maybe tomorrow?"

"Yeah, maybe," I whispered, keeping my voice strong.

When he finished his bowl, he sat quietly with his hands folded, his eyes purposely avoiding contact with mine.

"What's on your mind?" I asked him, knowing that he probably was not going to initiate.

"I um…you have to promise you won't get mad again, okay?"

I frowned, not liking where this was going. "I'm not gonna make promises I can't keep…but I'll try not to get mad, okay?"

"Okay…" the boy breathed out, trembling. He was scared, he was really scared.

He left his seat and walked over to me, one hand digging into the pocket of his shorts. "Open your hands," he requested.

I did what he asked me to and felt something cold and slightly heavy fall on to my palms. When I saw what it was, I choked in the midst of my gasp. My entire body felt heavy and the dizziness from earlier returned, only ten times as bad. The chain of the pendant trembled in my unsteady palms as countless thoughts and questions fired through my mind. I was holding her engagement pendant, and it was shiny and perfect as the last time I had seen it, four hundred years ago. I was shaking so badly and couldn't stop. My body was so cold and my eyes strained from the contractions of the muscles around them, keeping the tears back. My throat felt as dry as sandpaper and each time I swallowed, the flesh burned.

"I know you told me not to bring it up again, but she told me to give this to you! The girl in the picture, she has the same necklace! This proves I wasn't lying last night!" the boy defended quickly before I could dish out another accusation.

"How…why…?" I croaked and looked at him pitifully, expecting answers from him, answers I knew he couldn't provide.

"How am I supposed to know? She just told me to give this to you because she couldn't. She said she wants to see you, but you won't let her…she said you live in the shadows and her light can't reach you. She says…you have to let go of the darkness."

"What does that even mean?!" I almost screamed. I had to clench my teeth to stop myself from traumatizing the kid again.

He didn't look as scared as he did last night. Instead, he appeared compassionate and worried. "I'm sorry…I really don't know. She just told me to deliver this message to you…"

I got up and kicked my chair, sending it flying to the coffee table.

And then I stormed off to my room and locked myself in.

* * *

I spent hours lying awake in bed, thinking about the kid's message, which echoed in my mind over and over again like a scared mantra. My head was pounding and it felt like I had a tumor or an infection growing in my brain. I pressed her pendant to my chest and closed my eyes for the hundredth time, trying to ease the pain that assaulted my senses, but each time I did, I saw her face and that only amplified the agony.

Was she really alive? Was it her who had called to me in the alleyway today?

I could no longer believe that this was some sick joke, not when I had her pendant in my hand. I felt the seeds of hope beginning to blossom, and it was very scary. Uncertainty and the unknown had always been frightening to me, and I was no longer as brave as I had once been to face them.

I thought about her enigmatic words. She had told the kid I lived in the shadows, and her light couldn't reach me. Let go of the darkness…

Was it her spirit that was trying to reach me?

Shadow Hunter.

I thought about my new name, and then something slowly clicked. Shadow, where light could not reach due to something in its way…would that obstruction be darkness in my sense? Let go of the darkness? Darkness? My…burden?

I truly did not know what this all meant, and perhaps my theory was farfetched. But I had to at least give it a shot, because I missed her so much.

* * *

When I went back into the living area, the kid was still up, sitting on the couch and reading one of my books, though I was not quite sure if he was a good reader. He had found my toolbox and fixed the broken ledge of the bookcase, and all the books were neatly placed back. I also found that the vase that had tipped over last night sitting upright again, water filled to the brim and the flower buoyant in the liquid.

He placed the book down when he saw me and looked at me expectantly, just how an adult would when speaking to a child about something serious. It was a misplaced expression.

"Thank you," I said, "and sorry for putting up with my crap."

The kid nodded, and I supposed that was his way of accepting my apology.

I sat down on the couch next to him and sighed. I scratched the back of my head, thinking of how to go about all this. "Um…about last night, when you asked about that girl—"

"It's okay, Shadow Hunter. We don't have to talk about it."

"No, but I want to, really," I cut in. It was about time I told someone, even if it was to a kid who probably wouldn't understand the significance of such things. "That girl in the picture…she was a really good friend of mine. We travelled a lot and went many to places together, but then something horrible happened to her."

"Do I want to know?" he asked quietly.

I ignored him and continued on, "She…she died. I had failed to protect her…and since that day, I haven't been the same." I tried to block out the image of that day, when she collapsed into my arms as her final vision drained her last breath, but my senses remained receptive to everything in that moment. I could still smell the light lavender scent that permeated her hair in the stale air of my living room. My fingers bent on their own, futilely feeling for the softness of her porcelain skin, for the last trace of warmth that radiated from her body. I could still taste the dryness of my mouth when her eyes closed forever, hear the echoes of my scream when I called out her name, and see her lovely, unanimated face as I held her to my chest.

The colors drained from the kid's cheeks. He only stared at his lap, had nothing to say, but I didn't want him to talk. I just needed someone to listen.

"S…S-erah…Her name's Serah," I confessed, her name leaving my lips like a prayer. I felt a little lighter, a little surer of myself and where this was going. "Serah," I repeated, with more confidence. "Serah Farron." I wasn't exactly sure what I was feeling, but it wasn't anything bad, and I guessed that was a good start.

The boy grabbed his head and shook it. "I don't get it…what does this all mean? I…I'm so confused. But I saw her…how can your friend be dead? She gave me the necklace! Was that a ghost or something?"

"I have no idea," I replied gently, "but hopefully I'll get to the bottom of this…"

I took out Serah's pendant from my pocket and held it in my hand. The weight and feel of it was comforting. I felt just a tad more connected with her, closer to her. "I want to play a game," I said suddenly. I had to test my suspicion.

"What? What kind of game?"

"A name-guessing game. I'm gonna guess your name."

"What? But I thought you said you didn't want to know my name."

I shrugged. "Changed my mind."

"Okay, go for it."

This was absolutely insane, but if this kid's name was the name I had in mind, then…I don't know—everything would just be overwhelmingly chaotic. I blew out a heavy breath. "Is it Rhett?"

The kid jumped from his seat and stared at me if I were some otherworldly creature. His eyes instantly brightened with fascination and excitement. "Whoa! How did you know? Do I know you?"

"Are you…serious?" My gut felt hollow, my heartbeat pacing as quick as the impulses my brain was ejecting.

"Yeah, my name is Rhett. R-h-e-t-t. How did you know?"

"You better not be messing around with me," I said cautiously. My heart was now thundering so hard that I thought it could leap out of my chest any moment now.

Rhett shook his head and I knew from the serious and spellbound look on his face that he had provided an honest admission. I had no idea why I had even remembered the name, 'Rhett' or who he was. It was such an insignificant name and person, and he had totally slipped from my mind until just minutes ago. Rhett was one of Serah's students whom she had scolded for taking her necklace when I had first met her in New Bodhum. She had eventually talked him into telling her the truth about the whereabouts of the pendant. And now this kid, _Rhett, _happened to have Serah's pendant and spoke of this mysterious girl who used to be a 'teacher.'

I understood that we now lived in a dying world where people no longer age and births were no longer possible. But this Rhett couldn't be the one I had met in New Bodhum four hundred years ago…he did not remember Serah. Unless he had lost his memories over the centuries? Then that would make him a completely new person, right?

I never believed in reincarnation and that sort, but now I was beginning to believe that anything could happen again.

_Please don't let this be some sort of paradox that I have to resolve. I…can't figure this out on my own anymore, at least not alone. I need you, Serah._

"Are you originally from New Bodhum?" I asked, knowing that it was probably not even a worthwhile question.

"I…I really don't know. I can't remember. The only memories I have are living here in the Warren, with my brother and my family before they were—" Rhett's face darkened and his eyes flashed with resentment. Any trace of innocence melted from his face. He balled his hands into tight fists, and I followed his gaze to the gun that he had taken from his attacker the other night. The weapon was sitting on the highest ledge of my bookshelf, its shiny, golden plate tantalizing the child's reach. It was no longer uncommon to see children react this way. Deaths were brutal in Luxerion, crime rates higher than ever as the city's economy only accommodated the higher-ups.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was no such thing as the 'right' time anymore—for anything, not at least in this world.

"Rhett? There's something I have to tell you…" I said as gently as I could. I knew what I was going to say next was going to devastate him, but I wouldn't be telling him if I didn't already believe he was strong enough to handle the truth. I already knew that if I could somehow fix this screwy world, Rhett would grow up to be a capable man.

He could tell from my tone that I didn't have good news. Anger dissipated from his features, and he looked hopelessly fragile when he bowed his head. "It's about my brother, isn't it? You went to look for him on your own when I was buying food."

I was a little surprised that he already knew and wondered how he'd felt all this time, but that wasn't important at the moment. I took a step towards Rhett and retrieved his brother's leather bracelet from my pocket. He took it with steady, accepting hands. The kid was so much stronger than me, I almost felt ashamed.

"Thank you, Shadow Hunter…"

I hesitated but a moment. "Call me Noel."

"Thank you, Noel…" Rhett corrected, the corner of his lips curling upwards slightly. His eyes were glossy and hard, like broken glass. He was willing himself not to cry, at least not in front of me. "Hey Noel? If you don't mind, I'd like some time to myself now…"

"Gotcha…" I muttered, turning slowly back to my room.

I was about to turn the knob of my door when I heard Rhett whisper, "Hey, Noel…? Do you think the dead…can ever come back to life?"

I was silent for some time, reflecting on all that had happened, all the craziness that took place in the span of just two days. But it was the first time in four hundred years that I felt the slightest glimmer of hope. I didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle, and even if I did, I had no idea if they were going to fit together, or if they were even meant to. "Maybe," was all I could say.

And then I left Rhett to himself and his thoughts.

* * *

I remained restless, lying in my bed for at least two hours. Rhett had finally stopped sobbing, and I could only assume that he had fallen asleep. I was really exhausted but sleep just would not come, so I stared at my cracked ceiling and thought about how to make sense of the bits of information I had. Serah's pendant never left my hand.

"Noel?"

Her voice sent chills down my spine and I instantly broke into a cold sweat, my heart skipping erratic beats. I whipped my head from the ceiling to the source, and found…found her sitting in the corner of my room, beside my broken window. I jumped and backed into the headboard of my bed, my fingers clenching onto my sheets as if they were my last ties to reality, to my sanity.

There she was, a little different than I remembered, perched on my windowsill like a black bird in her black dress, the coattails of the lacy garment spreading and billowing in the warm air, like wings; pink, swirly hair and eyes so brilliant that they seemed to glow in the darkness. A part of me was crazy enough to believe that she had flown in from the window, but then the rational side of me reasoned how the hell she was even alive to begin with.

"What…what are…you doing here?" I gasped, my fists clenching tighter on to my sheets. I could not tell if I was trembling or the entire room was shaking.

"I came because you called for me…" she said with a giggle, a taunt. There was something off about her voice…a little deeper, younger, more playful, sinister.

I narrowed my eyes.

"You don't seem too happy to see me, Noel…" she chirped, lowering herself from the sill. She began to walk towards me, black heels clanking against the wooden panels of my floor. The closer she got, the more I noticed that she looked a bit different from Serah. This girl looked slightly younger with her round face and chubby cheeks. Her eyes were a deeper shade of blue, her smile devious. She stopped at the end of my bed and seated herself without reserve, curling her knee highs-clad long legs on to my blanket. "What's the matter?"

"Who are you?" I demanded sternly, her mocking tone starting to irritate me. Yet, the loudest sound in my room was my own heart pounding in my ears.

Her laughter rang like unholy bells. "You called for me, yet you don't even know me? You don't…remember me?"

Serah's name rested on the tip of my tongue, but I refused to say it, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to confirm whether or not this doppelganger was really her or my nightmare coming to life to haunt me.

"I wanted to see you for so long now, Noel, and I know you wanted to see me just as much." She nodded towards the pendant in my palm. "I had no choice but to get through to you using your friend."

My vision swirled in a blur, the entire room and the girl swaying like a high tide. I grunted and slammed my palm into my head, willing the dizziness to ebb. She inched right next to my stomach and touched my arm gently, sending ghostly chills down my spine. Her touch was soft and electrifying, warm and familiar. As much as I wanted to push her away, I could not…I did not want to sever the simple but powerful contact she had with my body.

"S…Serah…?" I croaked, feeling impossibly young and vulnerable. "You are…Serah, right?" I pleaded pitifully, desperate to surrender myself to my foolish wish. The bridge of my nose burned as tears surfaced, watery trails running through the cracks between my fingers.

"Yes and no," she reassured brightly. "I go by a different name, Lumina…but you can say that…Serah is a part of me." Lumina giggled lightly as she caressed my hair, her other hand still on my arm and stroking it affectionately.

My heartbeat caught in my throat. I swallowed hard, dislodging all the pressure that pressed against my flesh. I pulled my hand away from my face, pushing her palm away rougher than I'd intended, but she didn't seem to take notice. She only smiled that wicked smile. "W-what? I don't understand. What do you mean Serah is a part of you? How? A reincarnation? Where's Serah? Where's MY Serah?" I caught myself before I lunged at Lumina like a possessed beast. I knew my face betrayed how frantic I felt, but Lumina didn't even flinch. She sat like a graceful bird, ever calm and carefree, her midnight feathered collar ruffling in the light breeze.

"Shh…that's not important right now…"

"Like hell it's not!" I screamed, tossing the sheets off the bed. I clenched my teeth, tears dripping from my deranged eyes. "That's more important to me than anything else. SHE'S more important to me than anything else!" Guilt pierced my gut as I sat there yelling in Lumina's face, because it was the face of Serah in almost every way. I wanted to reach out and touch that face so badly, but I refrained because I had no idea who this person was or if she was even real. What if I were dreaming or hallucinating, finally driven to insanity?

But Lumina quickly dispelled that thought, drawing my neck in with her long warms, promising me that she was indeed real. I felt lifeless in her grasp, a doll she chose to control however she wished. My cheek fell against her shoulder, her soft hair tickling my nose. Serah's lavender scent filled the air around me, soothing me like a tranquilizer, and my entire body went limp. The room finally stopped spinning and my heart return to its normal beat. I did not even notice that my arms had encircled her small waist. Embracing this stranger felt so right, and it brought me a sense of security that I had been longing for since my birth.

"You heart has been infected by Chaos, Noel. You've been living with resentment and anger, driven to darkness. You've been taken over by your Shadow, your dark and baleful side," she murmured in a singsong tone, her fingers once again weaving lovingly through my hair. "Chaos thrives off of people like you, those who close themselves off to the world. Those who turn away from light."

Her words registered slowly, and though I recognized my faults, I had long accepted that I deserved this curse.

"I've been trying to find you for so long, but it's impossible for me to reach shadows. I'm glad the obstruction in our way has finally chipped a bit…I'm glad you called for me." She pressed her lips to my ear, and all my muscles tensed. "I know you've seen the vision of the Oracle Drive. Follow through, find Lightning. I wish I have the answers you want, but I don't. I too am looking for them, but trust that I'm on your side…now and forever, Noel."

I should be asking her a million other questions, but somehow the answers didn't matter to me right now. I only took solace in her presence. Serah or not, she was real enough for my broken, yearning heart.

"Do you remember the time when you got so mad at Snow at the Sunleth Waterscape because he was so hotheaded and wanted to take on His Royal Ripeness on his own? I never got to tell you how cute you were, all flustered. I knew you were angry at Snow for moving ahead without me. Oh! And do you also remember when you almost wanted to give up our journey when you remembered that seeing visions would kill the seeress? I thought that was so sweet of you. You were willing to abandon our mission to save your time, because you wanted to save me…"

I had no idea how Lumina knew all of this, how she had Serah's memories, but I did not press. It just didn't seem…significant. A part of Serah was here and I could not ask for more. I did not deserve more.

"These were some things I wanted to tell you at the time. Things I held back because I had thought we would have endless days ahead of us." Lumina laughed, a bittersweet, melodious laughter. "And now it seems like that's all we have."

She gently pushed me back against the headboard and crawled between my legs, fixing herself snugly against my chest. She ran her fingers up and down my bicep as one of her legs curled around mine. "You've gotten stronger," she purred.

All I could do was stare down at the girl in my arms, mesmerized and in awe that I was beginning to live out a suppressed fantasy. Lumina seemed to know exactly what my fantasies were, for she suddenly linked her arms behind my neck and pulled her face up, her lips dangerously close to mine. I could feel her breath on my skin, warm and revitalizing, flesh as soft as they were in my dreams. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to get lost in the kiss…it was so sweet and blissful, I never wanted to be found at the end of it.

Though I barely knew this stranger, she kissed with an intense passion that made my head swim, and for reasons I knew too well…I kissed her back with equal ferocity.

She suddenly pulled away and left me breathless. Pressing her forehead to mine, her next admission jolted every fiber of my being. "I will tell you one thing though, the one thing I do know. I'm your Serah's unconscious. A manifestation of her shadow if you will, her darker inner self..." She planted a kiss on my lower lip, her fingers trailing down my chest, "…conflict" then to my torso and the waistband of my pants, "…desire."

My heartbeats shot into overdrive once more and every receptor in my body awoke, absorbing and responding to the excitement that fueled my primal urges. I continued kissing her roughly as my mind somehow worked to rationalize the depth of her words. Could this really be what Serah had wanted? Did she really want me as much as I wanted—no, still want—her?

My rickety bed creaked under the pressure of our weight when I flipped Lumina on to her back with a certain aggression that she seemed to like. The pendant fell out of hand and I heard it land on the floor. I could see Lumina's smirk against the soft moonlight that spilled through the window. She pressed her hands against my cheeks and stilled my attention on her and her only. I breathed heavily as I caged her body beneath mine, taking in the alluring sight of her pretty blush and half-lidded eyes that misted in pleasure, the gentle rise and fall of her bosom, long legs that I wanted wrapped around my waist.

"No…no!" I cried, forcing myself to tear my gaze away. I fell against the bed and turned my back to her. "I…can't…" I whispered. Pathetic.

I had given into temptations many times over the centuries and never felt any remorse or regret. I had never cared for the girls I had been with nor had I seen any of them again the following day. But with Lumina…I could feel guilt stabbing at my core, because I knew I could have her in a way that I never could with Serah. I laughed at the stupidness of it all—I felt like I was betraying Serah, a girl who had promised herself to another man and was never mine to begin with.

"Noel?" she inquired lightly, sounding neither upset nor disappointed. I remained silent, and then I felt her move closer to me, an arm draping over my chest as she hugged me. Then I heard her sigh, a sigh of relief almost. "Yep, that's my Noel…" Lumina said in a satisfactory tone that made me believe I had passed some sort of secret test.

I stared outside my window for the next several minutes, my mind a turbulent sea that slowly swept away my senses. I felt stranded, loss, and suddenly uncomfortable with the moonlight that hung over me, so as usual, I retreated into the shadows where it was silent, safe, and intimate. When I turned into the darkest corner of my bed, Lumina was right beside me, the top of her head tucked snugly beneath my chin and her face buried into my chest as if she too wanted to hide away in the shadows. I was at a sudden loss of what to do, so I only did what felt right. She seemed happy, sighed in content, when I encircled her waist with my arm and brought her closer to me, the way I had always wanted to with Serah.

Lumina began humming a lullaby of some sort. It was quite soothing to my ears and I was suddenly overcome with a powerful wave of drowsiness. Her tune faded in and out of hearing, but the lavender scent of her hair was in my every inhalation.

"I'll be seeing you around, Noel…" was the last thing I heard her say before the music dissolved into darkness. I held on to her tighter, committing the softness and warmth of her skin into my memory, because like in the stories and movies, I knew I was going to wake up to an empty bed in the morning.

* * *

Serah's pendant and Rhett were both gone when I awoke. Lumina disappeared too, but that was to be expected. Black feathers from her collar remained where she had slept next to me last night, and it made me feel like she had taken off like a bird. I did not know the destination of her flight but believed that our paths would cross again, like she had told me.

I opened the window of my bedroom, welcoming the morning breeze and letting it merge with the lavender scent all around me.

Today was one of the few days that I found myself smiling and wanting to live for.

* * *

A/N: If you read till the end, thanks for sitting through it all! I was rather intrigued with Noel's new character development and the idea of what a 'Shadow Hunter' could possibly represent; hence, I started playing around with some ideas of shadow and light, their metaphors and significance. I'm not quite sure how well that was conveyed in the story here, but I tried. And of course being a huge Noel and Serah shipper, I had to incorporate their relationship into the story. XD Thank you for reading and please review!


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